Recently I’ve been fixated on the idea of one eyed people arguing about what the world is. Looking at the world with one eye, thinking we are able to see. Solitude and seperation is narrowing, yet with others, we have a chance to see.
I am writing for the sake of it. For the repetition, hoping one day it will feel natural. I was inspired by the story of writer who had to come to the conclusion that they were never really going to write fiction, as much as they wanted, as much as they tried. But they said writing like this was beautiful and fulfilling to them. We should write what we love.
Lockdown has been a slow internment, inside. Digital simulacrum is casting a large shadow, while real life has withered away to nothing. The internet; It’s like a massive tree with no roots. It might fall over. I’m afraid it will crush me. Lockdown for me has been a kind of reflective silence, where I have to learn live with myself, without the nuanced dance of real life intertwined. Perhaps this way it has been easier to see the digital world for what it is. Something with a mind of its own, a lot of automation. Something as unconscious as we are. If it’s the only life, perhaps I too will throw my penny in the ocean.
So, a friend of mine sent me this. Classic internet. A sort of meme-ish image with some baked text…
Without any pre-amble, out of the blue. Quite direct. I figured I’d have to ask..
Me — “Am I doing this? —
X — “Just wanted feedback. Friend using it for protest stuff”
I am too afraid to write on the internet. It cant be me, but then am I this passive perpetrator of systemic inequality and racism, or another other without a voice.
I wilt a little as I read it. What do I think of it? How do I put it into words? Well, here goes…
“…I have heard more articulate ways of reminding people not to take up space in a debate. Not sure the people it’s really aimed at are going to read. It edges into the realm of wider class conflict and the old idea of divide and rule. It has a strange disconnect – … an unrelated stock image. ..I don’t really resonate with a stock image of a person pretending to be happy. ..I’m not sure I am happy. It’s alienating.
People play devil’s advocate…Conversations divide polarise to facilitate debate, otherwise it’s just people mooing in agreement. Tracey Emin’s work used to cause me and a friend to fall out. but its a good debate….As to that all the brands making adverts about the environment, equality and social responsibility … it is tiring in the same way.”
I enjoyed, even though it’s a little condensed having something tangible to think about.
Being disempowered is tiring. Maybe that’s my lesson, and my gateway. I’ll try again tomorrow.
